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You are devastated and hurt. Your boyfriend has just informed you that your relationship is not working anymore. He thinks the two of you should separate for a while. You are so shocked you don’t know what to say. In your dazed state, you can think of only one thing: win back your ex boyfriend.
You are trying to figure out what caused him to break up with you. A friend tells you she heard through the grapevine that he was feeling abandoned and ignored. He told his friends that you had let yourself go, so to speak, and seemed to have lost interest in the relationship. He was feeling that he was not important enough anymore for you to make an effort with yourself or with him.
Why he broke up with you is an important factor in the scenario. However, your primary focus is vivid in your mind: win back ex boyfriend. Period. You don’t want to lose him; you are willing to work to keep him. That’s great; willing to work is good. If you want to keep him, you are going to have to focus on yourself first. Breakups naturally cause a loss of self confidence; you need to get that back.
People tend to get a bit lackadaisical in a relationship after the newness wears off. You and your guy get used to each other, you stop trying so hard, and so does he. You don’t worry as much about your hair, your clothes, or your appearance.
At the onset of your relationship, you went to great lengths to look good. You made sure your hair and makeup were alluring beyond measure. You spent a lot of time choosing your clothes, wearing them fashionably, and smelling fantastic. You exercised and maintained your figure. He sensed your dedication and commitment to him because you made an effort to please him.
When you feel good inside, and look great outside, you feel great all over. Your demeanor displays your confidence and unique style. Men adore women who maintain a positive self image. Men are not looking for needy, contrary, complaining, unpleasant women with low self-regard. Men are drawn to, and captivated by, women with a positive attitude, a strong sense of self worth, and a great appreciation of their own inner and outer beauty.
It’s time to strap on your big girl panties.
Do not, I repeat do not, chase him. Don’t call him and leave desperate messages on his answering machine. Don’t send him texts begging for forgiveness, telling him how sorry you are. Sorry for what? The sorry stops here. At this point, the fix is about you, not him. He wanted time apart? He’s got it. So do you. Stop crying; crying makes you ugly. You want to be pretty, not ugly. Right? Right.
Call your hairdresser. Tell her you want to look beautiful, and you don’t mind a new style or cut. Nothing purple or pink; just some soft, subtle highlights and a look that suits you. Go to the nail salon; get the works. Have a pedicure and a manicure. Get a massage. Shop your favorite boutique for clothes and accessories you know he’d like.
Get back in the gym and maintain a regular exercise plan. Buy a new purse, a new bracelet, some new earrings. Visit a department store and have them give you a makeover and suggest products that work well with your skin.
Regain your self confidence. Looking good makes you feel better about yourself. Outer beauty is great; combined with inner beauty? It’s fantastic! You have a beautiful natural beauty about yourself. Use it. Position yourself in a situation where you can “run into him.” Your or his friends can most probably assist. Use your charm, exude your gracefulness.
When you see him, don’t give him the evil eye or immediately set out to annihilate him. If you are still feeling hurt, hide it. Smile at him, sweetly and in a way that you know captivates and embraces him. If he asks how you are doing, tell him you’ve been keeping busy. Of course, he already can SEE that. Don’t try to nab and grab him in this encounter. Be quiet. Be beautiful. Be patient. This is kind of like fishing; you don’t want to set the hook and reel in too quickly.
The encounter ends. Do not appear desperate. You are confident, you are happy with who you are. Go home, keep your normal routine, and wait. DO NOT call him. DO NOT text him. Wait. Patiently. You do not want him to think, for a single second, that you planned to “reel him in” or “catch him.” Your original plan was simple, and must remain so. When, and if, he does call, you want it to be his decision to do so, not associated with any manipulation of your doing. Give him time, he’ll call.
There are isolated instances when the “win back ex boyfriend” strategy has not produced the expected results. He may not call. You can live with that. You, as a matter of fact, are on your best game. You’ve been improving and taking great care of yourself. He may not be the right guy for you anyway. Maintain your “loving yourself” routine. Mr. Right is out there, and if you ARE on your best game, he will find you. Just remember, everything you need is within you.
Steven J. Hartley knows how to win his love back. For more detailed instructions on win back your ex boyfriend be sure to visit http://www.winyourloveback.org/.
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